When I try sending mail out to anyone not on my mail server, the log says:

starting delivery 1: msg 1294858 to remote rankin195@ev1.net
status: local 0/10 remote 1/20
@delivery 3: deferral: Sorry,_I_wasn't_able_to_establish_an_SMTP_connection._(#4.4.1)/

I have the relay setup only to 127.0.0.1 because im doing this through a web interface and it connects as localhost. Is this a network problem? I am on my college network and I don't know what they have done. Also when i try to use an email server that i know works, if I connect via their web interface it sends mail, put if i try to do it through my outlook it wont send the mail. So is it the network or me?

ps. it trys to send the email for a really long time, is their anyway to stop it from trying to send it after 3 errors or something?

Is this a network problem?
Yes. Your machine needs to be able to connect out to the internet.

Look up the MX records for ev1.net:
dig mx ev1.net
and try and connect to each of the MX records returned on port 25 with telnet:
telnet inmail.ev1.net 25
If this fails, then you have an IP routing issue. Talk to your network administrator.

Also when i try to use an email server that i know works, if I connect via their web interface it sends mail, put if i try to do it through my outlook it wont send the mail. So is it the network or me?
What do you mean by "it wont send the mail"? Do you get an error? Provide a more exact description of the problem. See http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html for more information.

ps. it trys to send the email for a really long time, is their anyway to stop it from trying to send it after 3 errors or something?
qmail has its own retry schedule for messages. Each message will remain in the queue for queuelifetime seconds, where queuelifetime is the value of /var/qmail/control/queuelifetime or the default of 604800 (one week),